How is this comforting?
I know I should stop reading them, because I always end up either grumpy or outright raging at something, but I religiously read each week’s new Post Secrets. As you know, Bob, during the week the proprietor of the site puts up some of the comments he’s received in response to that week’s secrets.
Here’s a comment from this week’s batch:
At my college we have a bulletin board inspired by PostSecret. One day a photograph of a sunset was posted. Written across the photo in white ink it said “sometimes I wonder if anyone would care if I didn’t wake up in the morning”.
A few weeks later another photograph was posted. This was a photo of a sunrise. In white ink it said “yes, I would”. . . I wish I could tell the person “thank-you” because the sunset was mine.
OK, here’s how I read that:
Stranger A anonymously says “Would anyone miss me when I’m gone?”
Stranger B sees A’s anonymous message and says “I’d miss you, even though I have no idea who you are.”
Stranger A sees B’s response and says “Whew!”
Seriously, how does that work? How could B be so arrogant as to believe that sie’s so veddy, veddy sensitive that the unknown death of a complete stranger would somehow affect hir? Even worse, how could A take comfort in something so transparently meaningless? It’s almost as if both of these parties are more interested in symbols than in substance.
Am I wrong in thinking this is weird and maybe even a little distressing?
February 26th, 2010 at 10:09 am
I think you’re being too analytical about this. I mean, yes, stranger B wouldn’t ever know if stranger A committed suicide, but that wasn’t the point behind stranger B putting up the second photo, nor of stranger A feeling comfort from it.
If stranger A is feeling worthless and suicidal, the fact that someone, even an anonymous stranger, took time to post a reply, might make life a little more worth it, at least for a while.
February 26th, 2010 at 11:24 am
“It’s almost as if both of these parties are more interested in symbols than in substance.”
Almost!?
March 1st, 2010 at 10:43 am
John: I think we’re on the same wavelength. :)
Tyler: I get that, totally. I mean, I understand that it did work for person A. I just don’t get how (or maybe why?) it worked. It just seems so alien to me.
April 4th, 2010 at 9:17 pm
I find that a bit touching, actually.
Probably because of the place I used to work, which was a suicide hotline. We would get calls from complete strangers, talk for anywhere from five minutes to five hours, hear all this intimate stuff, try to show kindness and build connection… and then that was it. But it did seem to help them, even though we would never know each other in any way except for this one. The act of listening, or acknowledging, may be enough to help someone.
Of course, the other consideration is that maybe the post wasn’t as anonymous as originally assumed. Maybe someone recognized the picture or the handwriting or something…